I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Please don't give away my fajitas
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
