All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
