Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
