: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize