Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
