love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Acid is not a monday night drug
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Watching her eat just hurts me
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
