Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
