Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
