areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
