how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
