i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
