I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
