i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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