I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
