i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
