O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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