remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
