In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
