i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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