Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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