oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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