dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
