I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
