If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
