She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
