i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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