bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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