Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize