There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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