I can tuck mytits in my pants
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
