i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize