oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
