Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
