why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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