Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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