i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
