last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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