I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
