Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
