porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
