could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
