am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
