nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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