3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she told me i tasted like america
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
