He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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