My first STD was from a foam party
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
