I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I use my feet as sexual weapons
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
