sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
