you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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