Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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