There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
