Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
