Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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