Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
