That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
