What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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