When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
