I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Randomize
