I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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