if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
