what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
And then he peed in my hair
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