Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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