brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
