she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
