Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
