Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
