The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize