i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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