Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
